Small Talk
If you are married, especially with children, break out of the routine of talking about absolutely nothing. Countless times, households may be relaxing in the dinner table and they talk, "Do you want your carrots?", or "I question what is on TV tonight?" As an alternative, transform your approach to feature actual questions, showing real interest. Switch out the usual, "Did you have a good day at work?" with "Advise me just what you did at work today." Even if you don’t recognize every little thing being said, tune in with interest. It is not that you are so much interested in the work, but your mate’s life.
Old Traditions
If you and your mate had a tradition of some kind when you initially got together, dust it off and breathe life back into it. Perhaps you met after work on Friday at the neighborhood bar for a drink, washed your cars collectively every Saturday morning, or attended church together on Sunday. Whatever it was, re-establish the custom.
Predictability
If asking couples the questions involved in the death of their partnership, one of the frequent reactions is that every little thing in the relationship is so predictable. When rebuilding a partnership, don’t be afraid of letting go of dullness. If you usually hate the fact that Sunday afternoons features your mate sitting for hours viewing soccer, make some finger sandwiches and something cool to drink and go join them on the sofa, or if your mate spends hours in the garden attempting to make things look ideal, amaze them with a new blooming plant, then help to plant it. When taking a walk with your mate, stop and present them a soft kiss, say, "I love you," and then keep walking. Take some chances and do the unanticipated.
Lighten Up
Frequently when couples have indeed undergone or are undergoing some bumpy spots in their partnership, things often tend to get serious. It could be that there is a remarkable amount of tension or probably they are unsure what to say. Regardless of the reason, start to lighten up. Don’t take every opinion, look, or move as a serious problem. If your mate makes a mistake, which you both may, let it go, or if proper, laugh about it. If you make a mistake, don’t be afraid to point and laugh at yourself. This will automatically start the process of tension breaking.
Communication
When couples are having problems in a relationship, communication is the first thing to stop. It is often easier to just be quiet than to get mad. When rebuilding relationships, just as communication was the first to stop, it now needs to be the first to start. This will require that both individuals let down their guard and pretty much throw caution to the wind. Healing in the relationship cannot start until you talk. Make an agreement that you will talk about anything and everything and that you will listen, really listen. That does not mean that you will agree with everything, which is perfectly fine. However, if you don’t agree, don’t yell, rather, the two of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together, work out a solution. This is hard work but within a very short time, you will both feel much better, individually and as a couple.
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This is an excerpt from our newest book titled:
How To Build A Happy Relationship
97 Ways To A Lasting Relationship
Available mid-August on Amazon Kindle